That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
