if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
