i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
People in love make me want to vomit
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i think i have two assholes
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
