is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
