Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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