i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you made out with another girl for some wings
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
