somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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