I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
