Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
