I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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