Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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