One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
