I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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