I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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