She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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