Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
