my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
