I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
