You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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