Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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