we made out on top of his cat.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
