he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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