my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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