just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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