I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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