He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
