My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
