We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
