So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
