We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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