I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she peed on how many people?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
