Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
