Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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