Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
