You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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