dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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