do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
