My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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