I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
