handjob tips. give me some.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
