i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I will be naked everywhere
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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