My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
