Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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