i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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