let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
