do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
