her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
