quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
