smell my finger.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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