Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
